Spaceships & Aliens, The Man In Black, Terrifying Visions, Dreams, Angels, Hurricane Ophelia & Barcelona

www.startemplepublishing.co.uk

Amazon.com

Hello,

I am very excited to announce the release of my book detailing my experiences with my principal MIB guide & Twin Flame, Nathan together with all of the other MIBs around me.  This book also contains some of the blog posts I have written so far as well.  It is available via my own publishing company website, Star Temple Publishing Ltd on Amazon.com.  Check it out at www.startemplepublishing.co.uk and read about my experiences in the Terrorist Attacks in Barcelona, on a ship in the middle of the Atlantic in Hurricane Ophelia and what occurred when I met former Radio 1 DJ, Mike Read on a cruise to the Caribbean.


Now my book pitch is over I can turn to what has been happening to me the last few days!

Have your meditations ever turned strange?  Do they sometimes resemble visions more than anything?  Well, something new has been happening to me.  It has been going on for a couple of weeks but in the last few days my meditations have become strong and have co-incided with symbolic dreams of seeing a tsunami, a high tide and fog threatening to swamp me but never quite reaching.  I will start with the experience I endured yesterday.  I use the word endured because once I tell you what happened you will understand that it is an appropriate word to use.

My vision involved three aeroplanes being destroyed.  I believe they were used as a metaphor to help me understand some strong emotions and changes I have been going through lately but if you have any insight to this account please leave a comment and let me know.  They have been accompanied by some odd dreams I have recently had as well which I will detail a bit later on.

I found myself dressed in one of my favourite black dresses and black high heels.  This is usually the MIBs referencing that I am one of them albeit female and that usually, I am in charge which is great fun!  I was sitting next to Nathan on a plane.  I say plane but I am unsure of what it was exactly.  It only partly resembled one.  Part of me wonders it was really some kind of spacecraft.  It had a large black tail like an ordinary plane but the body was wide and square shaped.  There was a large door open to the side and I could see the plane descending.

It was very close to the surface of an ocean.  I could really see the water and I felt as though I were actually there.  This is something I have felt before.  When writing the book in which Nathan introduced himself by playing my character to help me develop the story (something you can read about in my book), I was carried across water to the ship I wrote about by Angels.  That had also felt very real so this was nothing new.  But what was frightening was how low the plane got to the water.  But there was more to come.

Nathan sat next to me.  I couldn't tell you what the inside of this makeshift plane looked like.  I was too busy focused on the water and when the plane was an inch off the surface I knew we were trying to land on it.  What I didn't expect was it to submerge under water!

Nathan helped me out of my seat and up through the water to the surface.  We bobbed around at the top.  I was wearing a life jacket as was he.  He kept tight hold of me and I was vaguely aware of the other MIBs around me in the water.  Above our heads a helicopter came to hover.  It was military and had a white star with a grey outline on the side rather like the grey US Navy one I have seen in movies - especially the one in the film involving a warship going back in time just before Pearl harbour, The Final Countdown starring Martin Sheen & Kirk Douglas back in 1980.  One of my favourites!  Also, you have to remember Nathan and my MIBs are American.  I am told this is the first life in a long time I have been English!

Anyway, as usual I am digressing.  Nathan made sure I was taken up in to the helicopter to safety before dipping back under the water to return to the spacecraft come aeroplane.  I did not see him again until the end of the meditation.  Once in the helicopter it rose high up in to the sky and strangely, above the clouds.

Out of the helicopter I looked down at a long thin Boeing plane, a bit like a 757 with the same white star on its body.  All of a sudden I found myself in that plane sitting in a seat with a seatbelt on.  The plane suddenly went in to a nose dive.  It was awful!  I was only vaguely aware of other passengers around me.  Then I was transported somewhere else.

Whilst lying in bed earlier this week I was treated to a vision of a row of terraced houses somewhere in the UK and a weird dizzy sensation when I focused in on them.  God knows why!! However, during this meditation I was suddenly standing a small distance away from them.  The plane I had just been in descended and crashed nose down in to one of the houses and destroyed the rest.  I was horrified.  The dust and debris flew across towards me as the plane flipped over on to its back.  At this point I was moaning and moving with distress during my meditation because it was so real but the MIBs were not yet finished with me.

Once more I was transported somewhere else, back above the clouds.  A third plane was flying but I did not notice any markings.  Again, it was a passenger Boeing plane.  I appeared to be hovering outside of it.  There were no passengers in the plane.  However, I could see one man sitting at a desk reading papers.  He was a stocky businessman with dark hair.  I was then aware of a whole series of black parachutes underneath the plane as though they had just left it.  Then a VIP in the world, I don't want to mention, left the plane with a parachute.

I now had a parachute on my back and Nathan had reappeared.  He linked arms with me and the rest of the MIBs joined us to form a circle.  The plane moved away and then blew up in front of us!  We descended to the earth and again everything felt so real.  I could see the patchwork fields of the English countryside beneath us as we descended.

I have to sign off but join me tomorrow when I reveal more scary meditations and talk about the spirits I saw in my local bank whilst out the other day.  I have so much more to tell you but in the meantime enjoy my book.

And remember, don't have nightmares! :)

Sara

P.S.  I wrote this account last night while promoting my book.  What I did not include was that yesterday when I had another strange meditation, I was told there would be a plane crash today.  I was shocked to see that an Algerian military aircraft crashed today although the markings I saw on the plane in my second meditation were not the same.  When I looked at the photograph of the disaster, the first thing that stood out to me was the large black tail of the aircraft - just like the one I saw on the plane descending towards the water in my meditation.  Was this some kind of message from my MIBs or a co-incidence?  I am not sure what to make of it but I am a little nervous.  Let me know what you think?

My heart and prayers go out to the victims and their families.

Join me tomorrow.

Take care.

Alien Souls, Blue Ray Starseeds, Blue Ray 1 Beings, Egyptian Queens, Archangel Michael & Men In Black

Hello,

I have been doing a lot of thinking as to why the MIBs would surround me with their protection and guide my every move to the point of distraction on occasion. Lol.  Annoying as it is, it is also a wonderful feeling to know there is someone to turn to for help when needed and I am not ever alone. However, I certainly don't consider myself special or worthy of their devoted attention and I want to know more about why they are here.  So I did some more research and found myself guided back once more, to YouTube and videos created to explain the nature of Starseeds - alien souls and Indigo Adults in the Acension process currently going on.

I love finding out information from Youtube and then forming my own opinions on it.  I came across a video by a lady called Psychic Intuitive Franziska and her video, Are You Of The Blue Ray Vibration?  She talked about Blue Ray Starseeds and to my surprise I found myself heavily resonating with everything she described about these star beings.

She believes these Starseeds who operate on the blue ray arrived before Indigo children between 1945 and 1970.  However, another video, The Blue Ray Beings Came Before The Indigo, Crystal And Rainbow Children by Human Acension states that these souls are occupying human forms in their 30s up to the age of 55.  As someone in their late forties born in 1970, this qualifies me for the first part at least!

Franziska goes on to say how the Blue Ray Starseeds are born in to and raised in dysfunctional families.  This definitely happened to me.  Even now I am estranged from my family and do not anticipate ever resuming a relationship with them.  All of my life I been shown by them that I am different and an outsider in the family.

Another trait I resonated with in particular was that she describes Blue Rays as strong empaths who take on the energy of others and often become overwhelmed by it.  This happens a lot to me, especially when I am in coffee shops, restaurants or simply walking along the street in the small market town in which I live.  Although an anxious person myself, I find my anxiety increases tenfold when around lots of people.  I can also feel anger, frustration, intense fear and more.  It has taken me a long time, despite being told by many Mediums to realise not all of my anger, frustration and the other distressing emotions I feel are all mine.  Sometimes it gets so bad when I am out that I feel crowded by the people on the street and the urge to get away from them becomes overwhelming. I just want to run home, hide and keep away from everyone.  It feels safer that way.  I will get to the point where I am screaming inside my head at my MIBs to get me home because I can't take anymore and I am usually on the verge of tears at this point.  Not something I show easily in public!

Blue Rays have a lot of health issues.  That is me to a tee!  My illness, Functional Neurological Disorder is a strange one and not fully explainable by Doctors.  Lots of people have it but the medical profession doesn't have a clue why.  I experience, non-epileptic seizures, paralysis, falls, balance problems , shaking and much more.

The other traits I identify with are:-

Asking to be taken home even while at home _ I have been doing this since I was a child and again after my divorce while waking up in the middle of the night worrying about my future.  I usually get held and comforted my principal MIB and Twin Flame Nathan while the others come close and stand around my bed looking at me with concern.  Well, I wonder if anyone wants to stay here most of the time!

They want to withdraw from others.

They teach people to empower themselves and help wake up people in the ascension process.

They come in to their full power later in life - since I divorced at 47, I have slowly began to feel empowered.  I have just completed setting up my own publishing business on top of being an author.  I am becoming so much more independent, daring and I no longer suffer fools.

The Blue Rays' main lesson is to learn to stand in their power and speak their truth, something they find they are not able to do until they have experienced hardship and learned to step away from relationships knowing they can not help everyone.

For more traits of the Bleu Ray Starseeds check out the video.  Links above.

However exciting these videos were, they didn't tell me why an army of MIBs would be guarding little old me or why the hell a nobody like me might be worth their time.  Then I was guided to a rather special video called The Blue Ray 1 Beings On Earth on the Truth Can Change Your Life Channel by Steve Nobel.  You can also see a transcript of this video at Soul Matrix.

Steve Nobel explains what the Blue Ray Being is, "Yes, you have heard of the Indigo, Crystal, Rainbow children but, have you heard of the Blue Ray 1 Beings?
The Blue Ray 1 beings are the rarest on this planet. The “Blue Ray 1” has never been anchored on earth, because earth is not ready for God’s Will/Power/Wisdom/Protection in the direct manner of a formidable Ray 1. A Blue Ray being is one whose Monad Ray is Ray1. This, what I now share with you, is information no one has written about – as yet!"

Interestingly, he details the level of protection these beings are given and the reasons, something I find myself identifying with to a huge extent.  This may explain part of the reason why the MIBs are around me,

"These extra-ordinary Blue Beings are unusually protected by the Lords/Chohan/Archangels/Elohims/Hierarchs (of its element Ether/Akasha) of the Ray 1. They need Divine Protection for the dangerous magnetic environment they are thrown into, all through, and for the huge voltages of Light they carry that by itself serves as an inconceivable magnet that draws all darkness into its fold for transfiguration. These beings carry the Violet Fire in their aura and are powerful alchemists that are constantly transmuting through their sheer presence in a place."

He even talks about the creativity these beings have and the work they choose to do which includes writing! and re-iterates details of their protection as well as a connection to the ancient Egyptians, something I have already been informed about by my MIBs when they told me I was an ancient Queen of Egypt!  I never believed them.  Can't say I could see me as a Queen but then they will know better than me however mad it sounds.  They also work with Archangel Michael - an Angel I always appear to call on more than any other.

" They live alone, and later in life withdraw from people/family/relationships. Why? Or else their Light, that is hugely sucked wherever they are and with whomever they maybe, would shut off eventually. They also magnetize a lot of jealousy, envy, condemnation, from near and far people who cannot understand their powers, their wisdom, their Divine Protection, and begin to fear it and eventually shun it. They need protection all the time – and so much protection, all the time, from the Masters is also not possible. So they are kept alone, yet in duality, living in society, interacting with people like normal beings.

They work mostly thru the quietness of their protective domain, internet, writing, relating more thru technology than in person. They hide their true identity."

This might explain why I have so much protection around me?  Am I am Blue Ray 1 Being?  Who knows.  My MIBs appear to want me to discover the truth on my own and trust my own ideas.  Even though they guided me towards these videos, they are giving little away.  But recent meditations, experiences with people and the fact that I see swathes of blue light as well as pin pricks of it guiding me in the most mundane of tasks, something which I will talk about in my next post has me wondering!

Everyone is special on this earth, despite not feeling about myself that way and it is something I am let to learn.  We are all here to complete a mission.  Do the Blue Rays or Blue Ray 1 Beings resonate with you or are you somebody different with your own story?  What is it?  Maybe you are a new soul just starting out.  Maybe it is time you thought about the real reason you are living breathing on this earth and discovered your true purpose for existing.  When you are feeling down or anxious, try to realise there is so much more to your life than the every day.  You are special and you are here for a purpose, no matter what you or anyone else tries to tell you.

Let me know your thoughts.

Also, if you love reading books, please check out my new publishing website, Star Temple Publishing.  My new book, The Man In Black will be available on there soon.

And remember, don't have nightmares!

Sara

  

Twilight, Vampires Suck, Spirit Love, Jealous Spirits, Richard Armitage, Zoolander & Spirit Husbands

Hello,

After spending the morning bitching and moaning at life, the Universe, my web designer and anything that moves because of more teething problems setting up my publishing website, I was treated to a spectacular meditation which I will go in to on my post tomorrow.  I am now going to do one every day!  But before I go in to it, I need to explain the run up to it.

For a couple of days I have been stressed out setting my publishing company website up.  There has been one problem after another and I have gotten to the point a few times where I am ready to just walk away and say stuff it.  I keep thinking my MIBs could be more helpful.  The closer I get to its completion another obstacle always arises.  I know it is part of the process but I have been waiting a very long time to do this and I just think they could have made it a touch easier after all the hell I have gone through with the divorce and having to move out of my home.  It led me to feel fed up with my MIBs and my principal MIB and Twin Flame in spirit, Nathan.

I told them to slink their hook, as they say and I blocked them out not wanting to deal with them or Nathan as my Twin Flame ever again.  Like that was going to work!  Another old chestnut argument between Nathan and I erupted once more on top of everything else.  Silly really but it is over an issue that Nathan takes very seriously and perhaps it is something I just can't accept because I don't love myself as I should.  Let me explain.

When Nathan first announced his arrival to me and showed himself, he was wearing a wedding ring.  I came to learn that it was what I thought and it was to signify he was married to me.  As I have said before, he never allowed me to know of his presence until my marriage was over.  Far from suddenly believing I was going to be gaining independence and freedom again, I was and still am reminded that I belong to him and he to me in the deepest sense because we both part of one soul, hence the term Twin Flames.

Nathan will show me his hand and his wedding finger with the gold band around it and move it up and down.  I was even directed to buy a ring that I wear on my wedding finger to signify my connection to him.  I find it quite amusing that when I happen to glance in the direction of an attractive man he will stand between the man and myself allowing me to both physically see his presence and in my mind's eye while he indicates I am a married woman. Lol.  Being in spirit appears to make no difference for him!

He repeats the performance if I get attention from any man and become flattered by it or if I want to try and take it further.  Useless really, I know I couldn't.  Nathan will once again remind me of his presence by making his image physically and mentally strong.  I keep asking him, how the hell is it going to work as a relationship?  And shouldn't he love me enough to let me find happiness in another relationship?  But like I say, I know I can't and if the truth were known, I don't really want to.  Try convincing your friends of that!  If you want to be alone you can be.  There is no rule to say you have to trail the world getting stressed out looking for a companion the minute you lose one like my ex husband did.  Besides you are never truly alone.  Read my previous post on the myth of loneliness.

Anyway, after blocking my MIBs out, I went to bed after my argument and asked the universe for a man with flesh on him to come in to my life! LOL.  Sometimes, I wonder if I do it just to piss Nathan off and get some revenge for him telling me what to do all the time in his guidance.  I don't like to be told what to do all the time :). When I woke up the next morning, Nathan was standing next to my bed holding, wait for it . . . a male blow up doll!  Git!  He wasn't the only one, the rest of them were as well.  The inference was that I had to make do with one!  Then to rub salt in to the wound with Nathan's biting sarcasm, he showed me a scene from one of my favourite movies, Vampires Suck, a comedy take off of the movie Twilight.  I clearly saw the scene when the father shows the pretend Bella her room and tells her he has left it just the way it was when she was a child.  All of her dolls are there but she does not recognise one of them.  It is a blow up doll!  He tells her it got lonely when her mother left. LMAO.

When I was first getting to know Nathan and I did Reiki I & II with one of my Spiritual Medium friends.  I remember her saying that she had just seen Nathan and that she wouldn't mind a piece of that, inferring he was good looking.  He is.  One friend who isn't particularly spiritual and out of many others who have seen him, told me he reminded her of the actor Richard Armitage!  He wishes!! Lol.  He is in the words of Zoolander, really really good looking!  Maybe I don't believe I am worthy of deserving someone like him who cares so much for me and faithfully stands by my side no matter what or how many times I try to push him away.  It must have been hard seeing me married to someone else.  I should forgive him. :)

Remember we are all worthy of having a wonderful partner however they present themselves.  And if you choose to be alone, that is ok too.  Anyway, no one is ever truly alone!  Open your eyes and see who is standing by your side in spirit.  You might just get a wonderful surprise.

See you tomorrow.  Remember, no nightmares just pleasant dreams! :)

Sara

The Adjustment Bureau, Burning Witches, Haunted Taxis, Star Trekkin, Woman In Black, Puritans, Spies & Alien Dimensions

Hello,

Well it has been an eventful week trying to set up my publishing company which I will hopefully be able provide a link for in my next post.  There have been some problems to iron out.  I have also been answering more questions about my relationship with the MIBs for my Spirit & Destiny Magazine interview which will appear in their July issue.

I have had some interesting spooky experiences in the last few weeks.  I was walking past the restaurant in the small town in which I live that is haunted by some young puritan women.  I always see them bustling about sweeping around the tables outside or in the window.  If only the people eating in there could see them they would get a huge shock.  I walked on attempting to ignore them but heard their familiar insult of calling me a witch.  As I neared the end of the building I could see someone in my mind's eye, not one of them, open a lighter at the bottom of of my coat at the back and set it alight as though they were burning a witch.  Charming!  I just grinned and shook my head seeing one of my MIBs pulling one of the Puritan women away from me.  They really don't like me there! Lol.  And another sighting involved a taxi driver.  I walked towards the car that was waiting for clearly seeing the taxi driver in the front.  He was dressed in a suit and I thought he had just been on a corporate job.  They always appear smart in a suit when doing such a job.  I thought nothing of it, apart from thinking he was rather attractive with his sunglasses on.  You can imagine my shock when I walked around the other side to see the back car door open and the actual taxi driver lying across the back seat trying to fix something before I got in!  I believe the spirit I had seen in the driving seat was one of my MIBs.

I have been plotting, planning and writing my book on all of my MIB and ghost experiences and it has made me recollect a lot more happenings.  I have also been in a reflective mood while compiling them and wondering why the MIBs surround me.

I keep dwelling on my past and what once was ever since my divorce.  Sometimes I want it all back despite the difficulties.  I guess I am afraid of the future and what it will all bring.  Life and the reality we live in sometimes feels like a movie or a spin on the holodeck with the safeties off in an episode of the Star Trek The Next Generation!  As Shakespeare said, "All the world is a stage and we are merely players upon it."  So which role have I been playing here and how do I now go on to the develop the character I have created?

I thought I was going to be running a publishing company publishing not just my own novels but others but it appears the MIBs and Universe had other plans for me.  The insurance costs are too high and I am left publishing my own novels for now.  I have encountered block after block trying to publish others.  The minute I realised the hard decision I had to make despite letting others down, all the pieces in life's jigsaw fell in to place and the road became a lot easier.

Was this all orchestrated by my MIBs?  All to make me understand I needed to put my own work or should I say the work they inspired and helped me to write first?  I am dismayed but I am going out on a limb here and trying to trust they are guiding me on to the right life path.  As I have mentioned before trust whether in life or with spirit does not come easy for me.

There are no guarantees in this world even if you have a group of MIBs guiding and protecting you.  We have free will  no matter what, right?  Or is it just like the Adjustment Bureau?  Maybe free will is a cleverly crafted illusion, a holodeck experience and we are just playing a role in life to learn something?

I am now being asked to trust them like I never have before with my finances, health and future.  Could you relinquish control of your life to others who profess to know exactly where you are going and what you are supposed to be doing and take a chance?  I often daydream or meditate and see myself driving a sleek black car which I take to represent my independence, life, direction and career.  I am usually racing along a road that stretches for miles through what looks like the Grand Canyon.  There is no one else on the road.  I will thunder over a cross roads going straight on.  Sometimes I reverse back and go another way or if I am feeling annoyed with myself and my MIBs as to why things aren't going right and I am unsure of my destination, I will enjoy myself doing handbrake turns and wheel spins.  This probably represents me going nowhere because I can't make up my mind.

When I am fully in charge, I will pick up speed and take off and the car changes in to a sleek passenger aircraft.  As I climb higher to emerge triumphant through the clouds, although resembling the title sequence of Airplane I, my plane transforms in to a spacecraft and shoots off in to space charging ahead at warp speed like any good Trekkie would visualise in a meditation!  Lol.  And off I go, Star Trekkin across the universe.  I saw Jamiroquai's video for Cosmic Girl last night with him driving and racing the cars along the road and it reminded me of this visualisation.  Great video.

Anyway, there are days when I am not driving.  Instead I am sitting in the passenger seat and my principal MIB guide and twin flame, Nathan is driving.  This is often when I am down or experiencing symptoms of my illness or my lack of indecision at which direction to take cripples me.  He usually drives at a sedate comfortable pace not the fast dynamic one I like to drive at.  But once I made the decisions on Friday to change the nature of my business he sat me an image of him driving the car at a fast pace as though he was trying to get me somewhere quick and make up time because I was late.  Hopefully, this will mean success for my company, Star Temple Publishing Ltd.  There are those stars again.  That is his fault.  Since the Christmas before last he and the rest of the MIBs have shown me stars everywhere I go, on clothes, in shops, on the TV etc.  I used to moan that it was the wrong symbol of encouragement as they were unreachable.  Still it influenced me to called my company Star Temple.  Then when I heard the song All The Stars Are Closer a couple of weeks ago and my company website went live, I finally got the message.

I have so many questions about the MIBs around me.  And I occasionally wonder how often Nathan has been driving in my life.  Maybe we are not supposed to be in control all of the time.  How far do I let them help me?  How far would you take it?

When I first visited a Medium and attended her spiritual development circle because I wanted to discover what the small pin picks of colourful light were that I was seeing and the fact that the character in my book appeared to be real and visiting me as a spirit, I was told some interesting information.

My friend saw Nathan and after remarking on his striking looks and saying she wouldn't mind a bit of that! Lol.  She informed me that my life was a team effort.  My soul group had come with me and I was just the one with the body.  This information came to me in 2011.  Apparently I had volunteered for the job and I was the best one to do it.  Idiot, last time I volunteer for anything again! :). They said I am like a spy on a mission and when I get back, I would be congratulated on a job well done.  Hmmm, wish I felt like I was doing a good job.  I am all over the place with everything.  I always get so frustrated with the world and what is happening in it especially regarding women.  From being a child, I have felt compelled to scream and shout about it to whoever will listen and even to those who try to ignore it and try to lead a peaceful life of blissful ignorance in this dream world.  Watching the news always sets me off so I try not to engage with it anymore.  My gripes with the world used to cause a lot of annoyance in my family who just wanted to watch the TV.

My pet hates are sexism, racism, ageism and in fact any ism.  I am nobody special but I still feel the need to speak out against injustice whenever I see it.  I have always said that I am hear to scream and shout about it all and very recently when another Medium friend channelled a spirit, a message came through that I was right.  I had never told her about my feelings and the spirit gave another message through her that was so personal, something I had never told anyone that I was confident she revealed the truth.

The other thing I have known for a while is that this is the last life I am here for.  A Medium has also confirm this.  I have completed the life cycles and this was just an extra one, a special mission.  This ties in with everything I have learnt about Indigo Adults & Starseeds.  I know I am from a different dimension, I have seen evidence of it.  Maybe it is an alien one.  I discuss it in my new book which will come out soon.  But for now I will get back to my real job, screaming and shouting.  Even as I sit writing a draft of this post in Carluccios having breakfast, I am sitting in a black work suit.  I am one of them - the woman in black.  One thing is for sure I am the one in charge of this team and this mission is going to be successful. :)

What is your mission here?    

Enjoy your weekend and remember, don't have nightmares!

Sara

X-Files, The Smoking Man, Soul Splinters, Spiritual Awakening, Aliens, Gunslingers & Cowboys & Re-incarnation

Hello,

Something strange and unfortunately familiar happened today.  Something or I should say someone returned to my life from the past.  There are many different kinds of bullies.  They come in all shapes, genders, forms and ages.  They can even come from your distant past before your existence in this life, from a past incarnation.

I believe I have talked about the smoking ghost who came to frighten me and emerged from my closet at the bottom of my bed one night to scare me.  Well he came back today.  He had been here for a while but quite clearly my subconscious had chosen to ignore his presence, something it has done before.  Perhaps I refuse to believe he is there or I choose to ignore him in the hope if I do he will just go away.  Maybe I am too frightened at times to acknowledge he is stalking me.  I don't know.  But the realisation to his presence comes sudden and quick.

When he is here my mood is low.  I am angry, furious would be a better way to describe the intense level of irritation at the way everything around me starts to go wrong.  My life falls apart and despair, anxiety, loneliness and extreme hurt take over.  I can barely function.  My world stops and I sink down in to a dark pit.  Something every dark negative spirit loves to play with and feed off.

James Hendrick was a man I was forced to marry against my will in Wisconsin in the US during the late 1800s.  He used to beat and rape me as Sarah Elliott before murdering myself and my unborn child through stabbing me while I hung from a tree.  Nathan and my MIBs helped me to remember this past life.  I wasn't sure why at the time.  It isn't something you want to ever revisit.  However, I have always been led to believe my life purpose is to write and produce books and they wanted me to write about it.  I was led to believe or maybe I chose to believe that my MIBs had pretended James Hendrick was there in my home to help me write the story.  However, I think that although this did happen to some extent for some bizarre reason, I believe I have been in denial and this would explain my confusion with the whole scenario.  I didn't want to know he was there for real at times.  Even now, I am still trying to clear my mind on what exactly did happen.

I won't go in to the full story of what occurred a few years ago when this spirit first visited me, you can read part of it on old posts and it will be detailed in my new book, The Man In Black.

I did write a book about all of the past life.  It was released as a work of fiction but there is nothing fiction about it.  I have attached the cover for this book to this post.  If you are interested in reading it you can check it out on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk and read about my principal guide and Twin Flame's involvement in this cruel past life.

Anyway, I originally called the book Forget Me Nots but I was asked to change it by the publisher because there was apparently too many books out there called by that name.  The reason I wanted to call the novel, Forget Me Nots was because of the connection to Nathan and the Victorian era.

When meditating I used to find myself on a beach.  I talked about this in my last post.  Nathan would be there waiting for me.  At this point I was not sure of exactly who he was to me only that there appeared to be a romantic connection.  In one meditation he held my hand as we walked along the beach and led me to a large grassy slope at the bottom.  We climbed up it and once we reached the top I saw that the grass was covered with small blue flowers, Forget Me Nots.

When I did some research on the symbolism of the flowers, I discovered that the Victorians used them to demonstrate enduring love to their wife, husband or lover, a love that was eternal and that would transcend death and beyond.  Nathan wanted me to remember our eternal love as souls and twin flames.  But I didn't understand how painful that would be or just how much more to it there was than writing a book about it.  I thought by writing the novel after James Hendrick's first visit in to my life to terrorise me like an episode of Paranormal Witness, I would banish his ghost.  How wrong I was! I was about to realise far from just being a remembrance that my MIBs had cooked up between them, he was real, very real.

I want to talk about this because it directly links to some of the experiences I have been detailing on other posts.  When I woke early this morning, briefly the image of a robin flashed inside my mind.  I was immediately on a mild level of alert.  My MIBS will often show the image of one of them or the real thing will appear and I know it is a warning for something that is about to happen.  At the same time a song rang out in my head.  It was Katy Perry's Power from her new album which is about a powerful woman determined not to be kept down anymore.  But I was tired and I went back to sleep.

When I eventually got up I went to the bathroom I was dismayed to hear the lift outside of the flat make its strange eerie clunking noise and the lights flashed.  Another warning!  If you haven't read about the haunted lift in my apartment building then check it out on a previous post.

Luckily the noise occurred only once.  It made me think of further warnings I had received to his presence that I had been ignoring, perhaps even blaming on other things.  There has been a strong smell of cigarette smoke following me around wherever I go.  By the way, I don't smoke and I never have in case you are wondering.  There have been lots of references to it such as when I read something about the X-files - one of my fave programmes.  It talked about the dark character, the Smoking Man.  It was all there I just wasn't picking up the call.

What is the relevance to the smoking thing?  Well, when James Hendrick first appeared to me back in 2014 or should I saw came out of the shadows in my life and showed himself, he was dressed as he was in that past life, as a cowboy smoking a cigarette dropping ash on my carpet.  In fact one of my MIBs called him the gunslinger.  He used to put his cigarettes out on me when I was his wife Sarah Elliott.

Nathan and my MIBs are protective of me to the point of being overbearing, so why has been getting in to my home if security is so tight?  I believe they allow him in or they just can't stop him.  I guess there is some lesson to be learnt from this experience.  He is a reminder of something he helped to create, the inception of an idea he assisted me in festering and growing, self hate and loathing.  As long as I continue to feel no value for myself, no love, feel distrust of most men and I believe myself unworthy of love, James Hendrick will be able to maintain his reign of terror.  He will lurk in the shadows of my room at night, masquerading as Nathan causing us to separate when I become angry and mistrustful because of the confusion, torturing me with noise, fear and his image.  He will be able to feed off my energy like a vampire.  I have to stand up to my bully.

When denial becomes impossible and I finally acknowledge he is there, my eyes home in on him and he can hide no longer.  That is when the fun starts and I start shouting at him and ordering him out of my home.  I am not frightened of him of him now.  Anger has taken over and is channelled in to making me feel strong for the battle.  The more I challenge him the more his outline fades.  He will stand there and laugh occasionally and sometimes aims a gun at me.  That is when I laugh at him.  This time as I stood up to him I could feel my MIBs standing next to me and someone else around me.

It was a part of my soul from the past.  Sarah Elliott with her long black hair and the black Victorian dress she always wears when I see her came to stand within me to give me strength and courage.  I have seen her physically and in my mind's eye walking around for a long time and she often appears in my meditations taking me to another dimension.

I see spirits, I feel, sense and smell them as well but when you see a part of your own soul from a past life walking around it is a whole different existential ball game!  Yet I feel stronger when she is there.  She is angry and wants justice.

Did I somehow summon her from the past unawares?  Did she come of her own free will to remind me of what I need to learn in this life that I didn't in hers?  Maybe this is the message my higher self wants me to learn.  Is this my dark night of the soul I must endure before my spiritual awakening is complete?  So many questions.  All I know is that once more I ordered my Nemesis out of my home and became victorious liberating myself from pain and sorrow to embrace a clear mind.  But will I be able to keep him out and learn the lesson?

Do you believe parts of your soul from the past, present and future can co-exist in form and run around giving you messages to prompt life changes and more?  It makes me wonder if others see Sarah.  They are always calling me Sarah instead of Sara.  It seems even my name is a reminder!

I was recently talking to a friend about ghosts.  She told me that her mother had woken up in the middle of the night to see her daughter, my friend running around the room as a seven year old when she was asleep in another room as a nineteen year old!

One of my MIBs, an older man with glasses has approached me several times in the last couple of days after I got back in to watching the X-files again.  He told me I was an X-file.  An unsolvable mystery?  Hell yeah!  Or does he mean I am an alien? :). Who knows! Lol.

Have a good week and remember, don't have nightmares!

Sara

P.S. If you are experiencing depression and anxiety or you want to know more about spiritual awakening, the dark night of the soul, starseeds and more spiritual topics to help you on your spiritual journey, check out my favourite YouTube channels that have helped me below:-

Spiritual Awakening

Richard Ilesley

Victor Oddo

Rockstar Spirits, Tantrums & Tiaras, Romance, Meditation, Visiting Other Realties & Dimensions, Spacemen & Rockets

Hello,

Do you meditate?  If so, how do you do it?  Mine is a little unusual.  Although I have done group meditations from time to time, I have never been in to sitting cross legged with my back straight chanting and being completely serene and calm.  It works for lots of other people but not me.  My meditations are usually triggered by an overwhelming need to escape from the world and get back to centre.

Quite often a row with my principal guide and twin flame, Nathan as well as the rest of the MIBs will prompt it.  Yes I row with my spirit guides and guardians.  You won't always like what they do to help set you on the right course in your life or the things they will guide you to let go of.  Old habits and patterns that do not serve you well after a time die hard.  Still how would you like a group of blokes telling you what to do all the time for your own good? :)  Sylvia Browne and other Mediums have talked about this in their books.

If it isn't Nathan or the others it is usually my ex husband winding me up.  I will experience a feeling of intense anger and utter despair.  This has been happening since my divorce in particular when so much has been taken from me so I can begin a new life.  It is hard to see it like that and not more like a life rape.  I am still working on it and sometimes I am angry at my guides because of it.  But in my heart I know it was the right course of action.  Hopefully, acceptance will follow soon.  I guess this is what they call The Dark Night of The Soul and I have to get to the other side of my awakening and in to the better life that awaits me.  Anyway, when I get to this point and the anger threatens to develop in to a self destructive downward spiral I seek solace in meditation through music.

Remember those times as a teenager where you would slam your bedroom door and put your music on to escape the world and its crap?  Maybe you still do it.  Well that is what I do.  I put in my noise cancelling headphones, lie on my bed, choose some appropriate music and turn it up as loud as it will go to block the world and its crap out.  And that includes my, at times, bossy MIBs.

They hate being ignored.  Nathan will pace at the bottom of the bed trying to attract my attention while the others will prod their fingers gently in to my arm or stroke my hair to make me look up at them.  The worst and most infuriating thing they do is when they shove their face in mine and stare.  Far from being scared, it just makes me more annoyed and I close my eyes.

Because of this my meditation goes through two stages.  The first is the angry part.  I choose music that expresses how I feel and speaks the words I cannot say.  Talk about being repressed! Anyway, the music I choose is usually of the heavy rock or heavy metal variety.  Yep, you wouldn't think it looking at me.  But I love heavy metal.  I love the shouting and the swearing and once I start listening to it I start to calm down.  It is almost as though I can sit my mind underneath the loud sound and take refuge.  Plus I have heard music changes your brain wave patterns and can calm you down.

However, part of the game is choosing the music.  If I am particularly angry at Nathan or my MIBs in general or I am frustrated at myself and the world then I will select songs that express that.  They will range from Papa Roach's Last Resort & Getting Away With Murder to One Step Closer by Linkin Park  and personal faves of the moment, Bring Me The Horizon's Throne, Happy, Can You Feel My Heart & True Friends - I love that line for when you are feeling betrayed- True Friends stab you in the front!

One day not so long ago, I was lying on the bed going through the familiar routine, desperate to clear my head and I was looking down the list of songs for Papa Roach on my phone.  A blue light hovered over a song I had never played before called Blood.  Curious at the guidance I was receiving through the light, I decided to play it.  The lyrics and the mood of the song expressed everything I was feeling and exactly what I wanted Nathan and the others to hear.  Childish?  Yeah probably but it makes me feel better so I am not going to knock it.

As I listened to it, something strange happened.  A spirit entered the room and sat on the bed next to me.  He was young, wearing black eyeliner and what I could only describe as what a rockstar would wear.  I knew he was the one who had pointed out the appropriate song to me.  He sat with me and made sure they others stayed away and gave me space.  My Medium friend believes I manifested him.  Personally, I am not sure I am capable of that.  I am still not sure who he was.  He may have even been one of the MIBs changing their appearance to help me.  Who knows.  What do you think?

Once I start calming down, I change the music.  Usually to stuff by Katy Perry, Demi Lovato, Madonna, Jax Jones & Years and Years.  Then I can drift off and go somewhere else.  It is the same experience I get when I am writing.  I can shift in to another reality.

Recent meditations both in group sessions and on my own have taken me to the stars and space.  I used to go to a favourite beach before I really knew who Nathan was to me.  I would appear on the beach and the experience was vivid and intense I could feel the wet sand beneath my feet and the water rolling over them.  Nathan would be standing in the sea with his trousers rolled up waiting for me.  It was a surreal experience and dare I say it, quite a romantic one.

On another occasion, I did a meditation and found myself on a different beach.  I walked towards a small group of people.  One of them was my late beloved Grandmother.  She hugged me and then another lady stepped towards me.  She called me by my name and I knew her voice instantly before I even looked to see it was my grandmother's friend and neighbour I had known all my life.  I realised she must have died.  This was confirmed a couple of weeks later when my mother informed me after we started to speak again after an argument.  But one of the things I also remember is being hugged by Nathan and the fact that I could actually feel his arms around me.  I joked that I was amazed I could feel the muscles in his arms when I moved my hands up and down them. Lol.

When I mediate now I see and feel myself floating above the earth looking down at it.  Most times I am in a space suit and a wonderful feeling of weightlessness surrounds me.  Then I turn and travel fast with a rocket strapped to my back and go and explore all the nebula at the speed of light etc.  Sounds mad but it is great fun and I feel fantastic afterwards.  I highly recommend you try it. :). When I come back, I see and feel myself heading towards the earth at a fast pace and back in to my body which physically jolts when this happens.  I have this all the time and I really feel as though a part of myself does leave this reality and goes to another.  Perhaps it is another dimension.

I quite often don't want to go back, it is so peaceful and then to come back to this earth with all of its noise and despair is depressing.  But that is life.  My head is now clear and I can now pick up where I left off before I got angry and hurt.  For a while Nathan and my MIBs will back off and give me some space.  That is unless Nathan has tried to make an appearance in my meditation - I always shoo him out!  But later on when they sense when my mood is completely restored they will move back in to my line of vision.  Where do you go when you meditate?

I will talk more in depth about meditations in my book about all of my experiences which I hope to release in time for my interview appearing in the July issue of Spirit & Destiny.  Watch this space!

In the meantime have a great weekend and don't have nightmares!

Sara

Men In White Robes, Not Showering Alone, Nudity, Dream Protectors,, Baby Spirits, Spirit Medical Team & The Myth of Loneliness

Hello,

I wrote a rough draft of this post this morning while sitting in Carluccios having breakfast after having just had a full body lava shell massage and my eyebrows done.  Why am I divulging this useless information?  Well, because of the strange experience I have every time I have one!

When I have a massage, the beauty therapist and I are not the only people in the room.  I usually have a spirit audience!  Not something you want to think about when you are lying flat on your face with nothing but your underwear on and half way down your backside!

My principal guide and twin Flame, Nathan loves to tag along with a group of MIBs who always accompany me when I go out.  They never let me out on my own or is it they are just men who like to shop and afraid to admit it? Lol.  Who knows.  They must get bored standing around in the flat  When I go for a massage they come too.

As usual they stand in their strategic guarding positions but thankfully, many of them fade so I can't physically see them, although in my mind's eye I can see them if I wish to.  There is always a large mirror in the massage room and I can always see Nathan standing next to me when I have stripped off just before I am ready to lie down.  I try not to let it bother me.  But when the massage starts and you suddenly realise that other spirits have appeared in the room and are standing around the table ready to heal you then things get a bit more embarrassing.

I won't go in to the whole thing but the next minute, in my mind's eye I see men in white robes standing over me to place their hands on my head and the body, healing me along with the therapist!  This has happened a few times, sometimes at night in my bedroom after which I have experienced what can only be described as a detox.

This is a departure from the medical team they usually have around me and they appear when I conduct healing sessions on someone else.  Since I have had non-epileptic seizures, balance problems, falls and more, I have had medical doctors in spirit helping me.  To emphasise they are doctors, they will wear a stethoscope around their necks and surgical masks on occasion.  They advise on diet, exercise and more.  It is wonderful to be looked after so well but sometimes it can be irritating being told what to do all the time.  And why they all have to be men with only the appearance of two nurses, one of which is often dressed in a World War One uniform and one female doctor who isn't there most of the time, beats me!

Nathan and my MIBs are with me constantly.  They never leave my side as I have already mentioned and they take their work very seriously.  It can become infuriating even though most of it is endearing to be surrounded by your soul family and those loyal to it.  Quite often it leads to arguments.  Yep, I have a rant when they get on my nerves or they take over too much and act like control freaks.  I hope no one ever sees me having a shout at them in the living room! Lol.  When I do that, they just take it and then one of them will show me they are holding a newborn baby over their shoulder.  They will pat the baby's back and walk around with it as though nursing some pain or discomfort the child is feeling.  This MIB will point at the baby and then me indicating the child they hold is meant to represent me.  Then he has the audacity to put the baby in a pram and move it back and forth and jiggle it as though to soothe and calm the baby as though it has colic.  Cheek!

Anyway to get back to this question of privacy from spirit.  Answer, there is none.  And yes that includes the bathroom.  I never shower alone and I do my best not to think about it.  I am not going in to anything else here. Lol.  Nudity does not bother them and they appear to not give a damn.  I wish I felt the same way.  The best I get when I complain is then turning their backs putting a blindfold on and headphones.  As if that makes it any better!

Every room in the flat has Men In Black in it guarding.  Why?  Who knows.  All I am aware of is that they are watching for other entities, orbs etc that shouldn't be there.  They are always looking upwards towards the ceilings and the nooks and crannies for anything that could cause a threat.  I have seen spirits appear unannounced in my bedroom or somewhere else in my home and they are quickly escorted out.

This also applies to those spirits I see in a vision in my mind.  Quite often when I wake up, I will close my eyes again and doze.  As I do, occasionally, I will see a spirit appear in a vision up close.  They will turn and stare at me as though I am there with them in an alternate reality.  They are right in my face.  My response is to open my eyes wide in shock and call for Nathan's assistance to get rid of them.  I want to help those in spirit but my bedroom and my rest time is off limits.

Anyway, this spirit tried it again.  He was stopped and then on his third try I found myself  in a car showroom with him.  He was standing away from me at the bottom end of the room.  He turned and tried to walk towards me but something or should I say someone was blocking his path, Nathan.  Every time, the spirt tried to walk towards me Nathan would walk towards the man and block him.  This happened a few times before he took the hint and the image disappeared.

I have actually been having a bad dream where I have been cornered and about to be attacked by a man.  The dream was a recurring theme dream.  It was always vivid and I found myself screaming for Nathan.  He duly arrived and helped me.  Apart from the last time I had this dream when I felt ecstatic that I somehow developed super human strength and fought my would be rapist off on my own.

I am never alone and I firmly believe no one else in the world is either, no matter what they say or feel!  You just have to look a little closer to see who is standing by your side on your team, ready to give comfort, support, encouragement and protection at a moment's notice, even in your dreams.  Life isn't an easy job for anyone to get through.  We all need some help no matter what anyone says.

This world is a crowded place, not just because of the living but because of the spirits who came with us as advisors, protectors and helpers.  I know because I see them.  If I don't see their outlines or full physical presence with my eyes, I will see evidence of them around people in the form of small twinkling lights in all different colours.  This was true of today when I met a friend on the street this afternoon and went for coffee with her.  Costa was full of spirits with people coming and going trying to get my attention.  So much so, I sometimes mistake spirits for the living.

As one of my Medium friends told me when I first asked her about my team of Men In Black suits protectors and why they were there, you came as a team on a life mission, you are just the one with the body.

So next time you feel that crippling loneliness that can be felt when there is just you or even if you are with crowds of people and family, realise you are not alone.  Ask who is standing by your side.  You may just be surprised at the answer.

Remember, don't have nightmares!

Sara